Mediation Service

“Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger
is the tragic expression of an unmet need.”
– Marshall Rosenberg

Mediation is a confidential, guided process for reaching agreements. The mediator will skillfully identify issues, help navigate emotional currents, and guide participants toward agreement while remaining impartial. Participants in a mediation voluntarily provide the information necessary for informed decision making. The mediator may provide legal information but won’t give either participant legal advice.

Mediation can work for couples who want to stay out of court and make their own decisions. In mediation, you will:

  • Identify interests, goals and issues
  • Gather information and data
  • Find support to be heard and to listen
  • Find support to manage the emotional aspects of conflict
  • Bring the interests of all family members together in an agreement tailored to your circumstances
  • Negotiate an agreement that is durable and binding
  • Complete your legal action without turning decision making over to the court

Unlike litigation, which tends to escalate conflict, mediation is a forum for effectively managing and resolving conflict.

Mediation Process

Mediation is a voluntary process. Participants agree to participate in good faith which means they will remain open to ideas, consider different perspectives and focus on reaching resolution.

Mediator’s Toolbox

The goal of mediation is to guide participants toward an agreement. A skilled mediator will use different approaches and adjust to provide the most effective process as the mediation progresses.

Most often we’ll start with a facilitative mediation approach where participants work together with the mediator who facilitates the information gathering, identification of interests and discussion of scenarios for resolution. Participants review financial data, discuss parenting goals and negotiate in a series of 2 to 3 hour meetings. Most meetings are joint but sometimes the mediator will meet with each participant individually.

The number of meetings will depend on how complex the issues are. The mediator will compile data, monitor progress and memorialize agreements in writing. Most often, attorneys are not present at mediation sessions but participants are encouraged to seek independent consultations with counsel throughout the process as they see fit. With guidance from the mediator, participants work together to solve a common problem. Mediators hope that participants will emerge with improved communication and problem-solving skills as well as an agreement. The process is focused on an outcome that meets the most important interests of each participant and their children.

In some cases, a more evaluative approach may be appropriate. Most litigation attorneys prefer this approach where participants are in separate rooms, each with their own attorney. The participants come to mediation with a position and the mediator shuttles offers back and forth in an effort to find some middle ground between the two positions.

This process may last 8 hours or more and generally concludes in one session with, or without agreement. Mediators call this evaluative mediation because the mediator may provide an opinion on the legal strength or weakness of the participants’ positions. This style of mediation is more about give and take to avoid trial. The participants are most focused on what a judge might decide for them if they can’t come to agreement.

A skilled mediator will utilize a wide range of tools to support effective communication, safety, and confident, informed decision making. The successful result will be a durable agreement that resolves the current matter and reduces the likelihood of future conflict.